A Pain In the Ass

To the people that say life isn’t fair, it isn’t. In fact, I think that sometimes the shittiest people-the ones without morals and ethics who do bad things to good people-sometimes get the most breaks and encounter the fewest difficulties. 
While I realize we each fight our own battles on a daily basis, some of us are just dealt harsher blows than others. Take for example the trip I took for my birthday last weekend. What I thought was going to be a nonchalant celebration turned into a police report, urgent care, and an injury that’s literally a pain in the ass. 
I went to this restaurant anticipating a pleasant lunch with my friends and family. I left this place with welts across my ass from a waiter who thought it was funny to give me a spanking with a wooden paddle…I thought I was posing for a picture, and he must’ve thought it was funny to hit a disabled girl, wearing shorts mind you, so hard that I spent the next four days incessantly crying.
As my 25th birthday approaches in a matter of days, I’ve spent a lot of time reflecting on this past year. This time last year I had just withdrawn from law school and my symptoms were at their peak. I was constantly getting sick and didn’t think I would ever improve. 
Fast-forward almost a year and my symptoms were finally starting to become regulated with the help of lots of medications and de-stressing…and then this shit happens and it irritates all of the progress I’d been making.
Now I’m back to sitting in the bathroom with colonoscopy-quality diarrhea and a throbbing tailbone that was nearly broken because of some asshole’s weird perversion to hit girls (or maybe it’s a perverted restaurant). Either way, I was never asked if it was ok to hit me…nor was I even informed. I thought I was freaking posing for a photo with the waiter…and that’s only after I refused the drink several times because I felt uncomfortable. 
This time last year I was reeling from the loss of the dog I had gotten to help me cope with my symptoms. Without her I felt like a ship without an anchor. Now, I’m a little more tethered to reality with the help of my new dog…but I still struggle with the reality that in my short quarter of a century, I’ve dealt with so much pain and loss, it almost feels immeasurable. 
Today, I just try to live for the day. I make plans to look forward to, but with symptoms that can flare at any moment without notice, sometimes I find it nearly impossible to stay present and positive.
On that note, back to prepping for class and then back to school for three more hours of class.
Let’s hope the butt can tolerate it.
Until Soon,

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kissed.with.a.quip.
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